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Yes, it’s nice if a guy has a friendly, cooperative relationship with his ex, but if it feels like it’s over the top, it probably is. When I had my affair, I was spending my summers in Chicago, teaching and playing professional golf, and the winters at home in Orlando.
So, again, I’m not sharing theory, anecdotes or research. Now, before we get to the signs, I’m going to take this discussion in a very unexpected direction.
Single women who attract married men actually want to attract married men. So a married, unavailable man is perfect, for the relationship can only progress so far. Now, if none of those are true of you, then keep an eye out for these signs, for they indicate a man may be married. But if he’s keeping his kids away from you, there’s a chance he’s married. Be on the alert for lame excuses for why he didn’t call you back for something like three days, for instance. He can’t spend holidays or special events with you. Open Golf Championship, a really big deal, and I had to make up some lame excuse why my girlfriend couldn’t come. Time Out Now might be a good time to admit that the dating scene can be a jungle.
This takes some courageous inner work to discover, but on some level, you may want an unavailable man. Married men can’t get away from their wives or families to spend Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years, Easter, the fourth of July or even his birthday with you. There are so many issues to understand and navigate, other than whether or not a man is married.
It’s not something I’m proud of, but more than a decade ago, I led a double life for a short period of time.
I was in a plutonic, disappointing marriage, and rather than confront that and get divorced, I had an affair. It was a cowardly time of my life, yet when the truth came out, I was forced to face some pretty dark things about myself, all of which are shared in my self help memoir: A Drink with Legs: From Hooked to Happy—A Spiritual Path to Relationship Bliss.