Cosmopolitan dating body language how to succeed at speed dating
Getting to the baseline can take as little as three minutes.
Ask your date an easy question like what he wanted to be when he grew up or his greatest passion.
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Once he’s relaxed, observe the four C's—comfort, context, consistency, and clusters.
Comfort: According to former FBI agent and body language expert Joe Navarro, we have to first ask ourselves a very basic question: Is his overall body language comfortable (leaning toward you, torso and feet pointed in your direction with a comfortable amount of eye contact) or uncomfortable (facing away from you, hands hidden, either staring at you or constantly breaking eye contact)?
Avoiding a question about his ex may not be significant, but if he suddenly touches his knee, looks away, and grabs his neck all at the same time after you ask him if he's separated, watch out! A faux-happy smile ends at the lips, while a genuine one will make the corners of his eyes crinkle into crow's feet, which, according to experts, is one of the hardest things to fake.
Nose: Flared nostrils indicate increased heart rate, which could mean he's angry, sexually aroused—or both!
The Smile: His immediate response (before he tries to look cool again) is for his face to light up when he sees you.
So what are your chances of reading body language on an average date, especially once you factor in low lighting, two drinks, and maybe some Botox?
And remember your own body language: The time spent changing outfits or planning what you are going to say next would be much better spent making your date comfortable enough to establish a "baseline." To be a human lie detector, you have to establish a baseline or find out what is "normal" behavior for the person in question—so that you can tell when something is off.
Listen: Ask a direct question, and watch what happens.
Someone who is trying to mislead you will sometimes try to take you on a guilt trip ("I'm a good guy. "), answer a question with a question ("Why do you ask? Always see if body language matches the words he is saying!
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Before you can interpret the gesture, you have to figure out the context.