Best first message on dating websites

In this article, we walk you through everything you need to know to successfully make contact at your dating website.

[If you are not a member at a dating site, you can try e Harmony for free.] The first three sections include general principles for the entire process, followed by a series of specific how-to's for writing the message, concluded with examples illustrating the information provided.

Cherry picking a detail out of her profile shows that you’ve done your homework—beyond checking out her pictures—and gives her an idea of what you have in common, according to women we spoke with.

Related: How to Pleasure a Woman—the Guide to Becoming a Master Lover “My profile described my deep love of grotesque horror films,” says Cat, a 36-year-old writer from Columbus, Ohio.

As any guy who’s ventured onto Tinder or OKCupid knows, that first message is daunting. Your best bet: Mention something specific in her profile, like her Raiders T-shirt or your shared obsession with Game of Thrones.

A common theme of success in sending your message is to be intelligently casual.If your joke isn't funny to that person, it's either a) not funny at all, or b) not funny to him/her. In the middle of this city you're walking around in, surrounded by thousands and millions of people walking, you fear you might be the only one who likes walking?You might as well find out right away if your senses of humor* line up.*Bonus advice: Please don't just write "I have a good sense of humor" and expect everyone to believe you. It's good to express enthusiasm for shared interests, but don't make them up, and don't be weird about it.Instead, as with good tip #5, use the message to ask about him/her.Talking about yourself, at this point, should be limited, and related to the person you're interested in.**Bonus advice: Never, for the love of god, describe yourself (whether in your profile, or in messages) as a "kick-ass" ANYTHING. A few years back, the OKCupid blog posted a really helpful index of what kinds of messages get responses — and which ones don't.

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We have combined our own research with a 2009 Ok Trends study to develop comprehensive advice for sending your first message.

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